


February Prompts

by azurexskies



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-10-26 19:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 8,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17752151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azurexskies/pseuds/azurexskies
Summary: A collection of things I wrote for some February writing prompts





	1. Purification

Breathe

In

Out

In

Out

Every morning and every night for a clean slate to take on the day. She relied on this small, simple routine more and more as her burdens continued to increase, a way for her to lift the heaviness of her own thoughts. The gaze on her back did not go unnoticed, already far too familiar with who it belonged to.

The first time he had watched her, he still had all the naivete of a street urchin. It was perhaps one of the few moments in his life he recalls actually being a child. No burdens, no worries, even if it was for those few moments when he would poke those soft cheeks of hers to disturb or, or make funny faces, watch as her brows scrunched up and her nose crinkled before she fixed him with an angry glare.

“Instead of just watching, you could join me, you know. I think meditation would be quite beneficial for you”

Thancred chuckled, offering a hand to her as she stood up from her spot on the floor. That invitation had always been open to him, and when they were younger he tried. And failed. While he prided himself on his steady hands and nimble fingers, dexterity that require absolute calm and concentration, this simple act of  _sitting_ still and … well, emptying? the mind just seemed difficult. He still only had her rudimentary explanation of sit still, think of nothing. He was certain there was more to it than that now, and he felt that he knew better, and yet there were still some difficulties for him in finding that moment of calm.

Except perhaps in these moments. The ones where he looks at her and he sees her gaze, clear, unfaltering. Or even her expression but moments ago, the serenity of the moment, her own clearing of her mind. Perhaps his time of meditation just looked different from hers. In that time she takes for herself, he always found himself recounting a small memory, some from their distant past, some as recent as yesterday.

For a few heartbeats he forgets what had transpired when she wasn’t there, he forgot the pain of his shortcomings, the despair of his incompetence. In watching her, he found his own moment of clarity and calmness.

“Was there something you needed to tell me?”

The silence had hung between for a moment too long, and while not necessarily unwanted, he remembered he did come here with a purpose other than watching her.

“Ah yes, Alphinaud wanted to speak with you”

“Oh”

He raises a brow, teasing more than curious at the clear disappointment in her voice.

“Can’t I keep him waiting a little longer?” she asks, honey lacing every word as she closed the distance between them.

He chuckled. “Tempting, but I think he’s waited long enough. Let’s not give him a reason to interrupt us”

With a resigned sigh, Mayu gives him a quick squeeze before stepping back. “All right, let’s get this day done with”


	2. Repetition

There was a lesson in patience to be learned from this. Call it his own stubbornness, but Thancred was not a boy who gave up easily and he refused to let this setback bring him down. He was going to succeed and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished his mission.

“It’s a ‘th’ sound, you know, when your tongue hith the thop of your mouth”

He tried to demonstrate for Mayu but was only met with confusion as she pointed at her own mouth, sticking her tongue out.

“I … Thancred, I think that’s too complex an explanation for her.” Her oldest brother, Rei, watched on in amusement at the two children sitting across from each other. It was a wonder how his sister had somehow made a friend, a pickpocket from the street no less too. Rei was well aware, but at his father and his sister’s behest, here he was. He didn’t let Thancred out of his sight though, at first from distrust, but now from amusement.

He watched in fascination from start to finish as Mayu tried to speak with him, using what few words she knew of the language here and wild gestures. If she got frustrated she looked to her brother for help, and he had become something of a translator now.

“Th”

“S?”

“Th!”

“S!”

Two exasperated faces looked at Rei, making him jump a little, as he shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to help you two!”

_“Why not?”_ Mayu whined, slipping back into a more comfortable language.

_“It takes practice, you’ll get it eventually. Just … patience! Okay?”_  Rei explained in an effort to try and console her. He could clearly tell the answer was not satisfying enough, but from his own experience, he knew it took some time. If anything she was catching on a lot faster than he did, probably due to being a bit more exposed to the language.

And having someone to talk to.

Even if that conversation was a little one-sided.

“I want her to be able to say my name though” Thancred was the one whining now, making Rei groan internally.

“Why? I mean, you realize that she is now going to try and call you by shouting it around the whole city, right?”

Thancred’s eyebrows knitted together, realizing that perhaps that wasn’t the best solution. Still, Rei watched in amusement, and amaze as the two continued this.

The patience of children was certainly something.

Why, he was so impressed when he heard the tiniest bit of a hard ‘th’ when she said thank you to Thancred at the end of the night.


	3. Pearls

There were always these little things he noticed, even when they had first met, that gave her away. Very rarely did Mayu ever talk about what sort of family she came from. So rare, in fact, that most, if not almost all of those she had met in Eorzea, save for Thancred, knew her by a different name. At most, she would often say how her family was quite far away, and spoke no further of them. Thancred had only gotten lucky, having met her at a time when she did not understand the why and how of an alias.

But, if one looked carefully, there were some things that, if noticed, hinted at least at the sort of wealth her family possessed. Sometimes it was the jewels on her trinkets, understated, but the glimmer giving a small hint of their value. Other times it was the fine materials of her clothing, a little too luxurious for just any run of the mill adventurer. But he especially loved seeing the peeks and hints in her carriage, the way her back straightened when she spoke with dignitaries, or how she spoke a little slower, enunciated her every word carefully.

While a woman who appreciated fine things, she wasn’t one to flaunt them, and rarely went out to purchase them. But she was also a sentimental woman, someone who often held onto her trinkets for as long as she possibly could. The bracelet on her wrist was one, a present from her father as a young girl, and one she’s continued to hold onto and wear even as she’s grown into a woman.

His favourite though was the necklace she sometimes wore. She didn’t all the time, for fear that it may break. It was more delicate than some of her other pieces but she at least tried to make a point to wear it around Thancred. It was the first necklace he had given her. He swore to her that it was bought with honestly earned money and he had always worried that it wouldn’t measure up to her other jewelry pieces. But it didn’t matter to her that the pearls were not of the highest quality, or that they were strung on string and not silk thread. There was something charming about those imperfections, and it after some careful inspection, came the realization.

Handmade.

Call it one of his many talents, he said.

With her family having talent in metal working, it meant that much of the jewelry that had sentimental value to her was made by hand and he wasn’t about to gift her something that someone else had made. While unsure at first of his own skills and apprehensive that he would be unable to make something worthy of her, with each pearl he strung he hoped and prayed that she would love it, and prayed harder that he would finish it.

And the gods answered.

She loved it. She loved it so much she did not take it off, and for better or worse, quickly learned that the necklace was quite delicate, already breaking the string of pearls within a few days of receiving it. She was frantic, feeling nothing but remorse for not being more careful with something he had spent so much time making. He assured her it was no fault of hers, and since then she had reserved it for special occasions. While it meant that she didn’t bring it out that often, it made those moments all the more special.


	4. Bones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mayu is the WoL's real name, but she's been going by Carmen.

A chasm had opened up underneath her. She was falling, with no bottom in sight, and quickly losing sight of the light above. Dazed, numb, all she could do was wait to hit rock bottom, wondering how the fall will break her.

_“Go Mayu”_

The emotion she saw in his eyes then was burned into her memory. All she could think about were the words they had left unsaid, every unspoken emotion that had left for years hung in the silence, broken by the hurried footsteps down the hall. She wanted to shout it, yell it as loud as she could, but her voice caught in her throat and all she could do was nod, and run. It would have felt too final, like a true farewell. She held onto that childish hope that if she kept it to herself, that she continued to wish and pray for a chance to speak with him again, that it would be granted. Ever since they had first met, hadn’t it been that way? The odds stacked against them. She shouldn’t have met him. They shouldn’t have been able to keep in contact. They shouldn’t have been reunited years later.

Yet they were. Time and time again, fate smiled kindly and allowed their paths to cross so many times.

Had their favor run out now?

“Carmen?”

The name sounded foreign to her. Carmen? Who was Carmen? Her eyes met Alphinaud’s, concern and worry in them. Ah, that’s right. She was Carmen. Carmen Walker, the Warrior of Light, the Hero. During that tense moment, she hadn’t even realized that Thancred had called her by her real name. If Y’Shtola or Minifilia had noticed, neither seemed to make any indication of it, nor was that probably the time to.

Somehow, that realization only made her descent down the chasm feel faster. As if she was about to hit the bottom at any second.

She could almost feel the ground, coming far too fast to meet her.

It will break her.

Every bone will shatter.

Ah, there it is.

The ground finally came to meet her, and she felt it first in her eyes. Hot, blurry, tears streamed from the corners of her eyes. Her fingers felt numb, starting from the tips, creeping up her arms. Her toes tingled as the same feeling started spreading up through her legs. It seeped into her chest, constricting her lungs, her heart. Every beat felt labors and her lungs could never seem to draw in enough air. Her ears rang, unable to make out the jumbled words that people were saying to her. Tingling gave way to aches, dull throbbing pain seeping through every bone in her body.

She was in pain, and yet she felt so numb and cold all at once. Blame it on the Coerthan weather. That’s what she said as she heard a muffled, “are you okay?” She couldn’t quite register who the voice belonged to, but she felt her face crack as her mouth moved into what she presumed was a smile.

“I’m fine”

“I’ll be okay”

“Don’t worry about me”

Her screams died in her throat, her voice spent from her fall.

Every bone was broken.

But only on the inside.


	5. Humility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I have more than one WoL character I like writing with, here's the other one, G'Khai!

With every blow they traded, the outcome of the battle was evident to both of them. But this was foolish. Khai did not want this. And yet, he knew that neither did Khan. What were two sons unwilling to step into the role their father had left them to do? While Khan’s physical strength exceeded Khai’s, Khai was the quicker thinker. And, to Khan’s dismay, the better actor. With one last blow Khai crumpled to the ground, seemingly defeated. Khai made a show of it, stumbling, getting back up, attempting to strike back at Khan one more time, and failing.

While Khan knew what his brother was doing, it was clear what the outcome was now. What he thought for sure would be Khai’s victory was now his.

All too quickly, Khai seemed to have had his things gathered and was ready to set out, using the reasoning that he was too ashamed and can’t possibly stay with his tribe now that he has been so unceremoniously defeated. While some of the older females had seemed to have caught on to Khai’s charade, many of the younger ones had not, many of them eating up his whole act and convinced that he truly was as weak as he made himself seem.

“You can’t stand there and tell me I’m the better choice”

Khai chuckled, clapping his brother on the shoulder. “I’ve always looked up to you, you know. You’re the best big brother I could have asked for”

“It’s because I am that I’m letting you have this”

The two embraced, the last one they will have for a while.

“You don’t have enough faith yourself, Khai, you’d do just as well as me, better even!” Khai could only chuckle and shake his head.

“Perhaps, but I’m not interested in trying. And besides, you and I have always been of the same mind, I’m certain that however you decide to lead the tribe will be no different than what I would have chosen”

As their last silent goodbyes were exchanged, a chuckle bubbled up in Khai’s chest again as a thought occurred to him. “Our tribe was strangely blessed with so many sons and yet, of course the only ones that managed to live through it all are the most reluctant and humble ones”

Khan sighed heavily, only making Khai chuckle again. “I like to think that’s why we’re still here”

“Valid”

Twin sighs filled the air as their gazes drifted to their siblings’ resting places, hearts heavy as they said a silent prayer in their memory.

“And now I say goodbye to another one”

Khai flashed a smile at his brother, “At least it’s not forever. I’ll visit, when I can, and I’ll write you some letters, remind you of what you’re missing”

Khan grumbled, playfully kicking at Khai as he watched his younger brother leave for the unknown.

Until next time.


	6. Childhood

Patience

Alert

Adaptable

His mother was an amazing huntress, and it only made sense for Khai to follow in her footsteps. He started sooner than his sisters, his mother’s reasoning being that the sooner he learned, the better advantage he would have over his brothers.

It seemed more a curse than a blessing in their tribe. Six boys. Khan, the oldest, and Khai’s true brother never quite understood or had any interest in indulging their younger brothers in whatever competition they had seemed to make up themselves. They were well aware that eventually someone would have to step into their father’s role, but there was only room for one.

Whatever their mother’s opinion on the matter, both Khan and Khai had no interest and tired of their brothers’ competition. It seemed like every little thing they did was something to be measured and compared. How many kills did they have on their last hunt? How fast could they run? Who was the strongest one?

There was something frustrating, at least to the other boys, at how Khai and Khan excelled compared to the rest. Was it because they were the oldest? Not true when one was born in between Khan and Khai. Was it their mother? They were the only sons who had shared a mother, and while it was a strong grasp at thin threads, for some it seemed enough of a reason.

Enough of a reason, that is, to be absolute hellbeasts to what would be Khan and Khai’s newest sibling. Little Khot, unaware of what sort of life he had ahead of him. The seventh boy born in the tribe. Surely, no other tribe had so many. Now was this something to be celebrated or dread? It quickly became apparent that, whether this was the intended choice or not, the latter became the mood amongst all the members.

The first year was not so bad. With their mother closely watching over Khot, Khai took the time to train, hunt, learn. Not to one day take on his father’s role, but the opposite. He sought freedom from these petty competitions and wanted to experience life outside of the tribe. At some point he knew he would get there, not by choice, but he intended to make it his choice.

It was a dream he held onto, gripping it as hard as he could as he held Khot for the last time.

All it took was timing. A hunt that left his mother, Khan, and Khai absent from the tribe long enough. While he was certain that the other huntresses probably looked out for the small child, it really did only take a few moments of no supervision for the other sons to lash out.

And the first grave was made.

The four that would eventually follow after were always made with the first in mind.

For Khot.

For the childhood he was robbed of.

For the family that mourned him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How likely this is idk, technically I'm sure it's very very rare. I feel like it gets very competitive when you already have two Tias so what if you had more than that? That's basically the premise I started with for G'Khai's character


	7. Ice

“I love snow, it’s so pretty”

The muffled sound of Mayu’s voice, coupled with the incredibly deep scowl on her brow were saying otherwise, a thought Thancred confirmed with her next few words.

“But this is absolutely miserable”

He chuckled as she pulled her coat and scarf tighter around her person, looking a little ridiculous with all the layers of clothing she had on. True, he had to admit it was quite chilly but he certainly did not feel the same chill that Mayu felt. She had been weathering this climate much longer than he, and the fact that she still wasn’t used to it really said a lot.

“We’ve only been out here for five minutes and you’re already at your limit?”

She pulled her scarf up, only her eyes visible, but the glare pronounced enough for him to know she did not appreciate his teasing.

“Five minutes too long”

“Come now” Thancred took her by the arm, pulling her closer. “I don’t think the people of Ishgard will be able to appreciate their hero if she’s wrapped up like this. They might think she hates being here”

He heard her mumbled ‘it’s not completely untrue’ as he loosened her scarf a little. He felt her shiver under his touch as he loosened her garments more, taking off some of the layers to make her look a bit more presentable and less like some strange cocooned creature.

“You’re mean for doing this” she hissed, and he noted the redness of her cheeks. Not from embarrassment, but from the sheer cold. Her skin was already flushing, angry at the assault of cold air and he felt a slight twinge of regret for doing this.

“I’ll make it up to you” he offered an apologetic grin.

She contemplated it for a moment and he saw that all too familiar wicked grin of hers form on her mouth. “You can make it up to me by sacrificing your body to me later”

“Can you perhaps not make it sound so sinister?” he voice lowered as he said his next line, “Must I remind you about Lahabrea?”

He saw the slight stirring of emotion in her eyes, but it quickly washed away as she smiled. “Well, regardless, you can make it up to me with your body”

“Don’t you mean ‘you’ll make up for it with your passionate love’”

“I know what I said”

“Really, there is not an ounce of romance in that sentence at all”

“You love me”

The conversation with a heavy, defeated sigh from Thancred, but there was no mistaking the smile on his lips. And he could swear that the tinge of red on her cheeks now weren’t just from the cold.


	8. Empty

“Thancred, I believe you owe me a story about your latest conquest”

Finally, even if it was for only a short while, Mayu and Thancred had a moment to catch up. Gods know he probably needed it. It didn’t go unnoticed by Mayu that the soul had been working himself to exhaustion. Surely he was tired and would have enjoyed the quieter, more intimate company of a long time friend.

There was something strange about the way he looked at her. Distant, and lacking the warmth she remembered seeing when she had first joined the Scions. He smiled at her, but noted how it seemed to be only his mouth that did so.

“Apologies, my dear friend, but we’ll have to save that for another day. I have a new lead I wanted to look into today”

“Then, do you want some help? Perhaps you’ll glean more information with an extra body to help you”

He smiled (it looked odd) and shook his head. “I appreciate your offer, but you should rest. I can take care of this myself”

Before she had a chance to argue with him more, he was already walking away, and at this point she was too stunned to properly retaliate. Something had changed, and not for the better. While he certainly was still polite and cordial enough, he seemed to lack that spark she enjoyed so much. The little bit of mischief he always had behind his eyes, or the sparkle giving hint to a new tale he absolutely must spin for her.

It was like all those years separated as children was catching up to them now and he wanted to do nothing more than indulge in all those childish activities they never got the chance to, share all the stories they might have forgotten in between letters.

Until now.

So why?

What did she do to make her friend suddenly so distant now?

And why did she have a bad feeling about that strange new necklace of his?


	9. Ancestors

It shouldn’t have been so surprising, they were in Kugane, after all. But it was quite obvious when Carmen had stopped in front of a weapon shop in the Kogane Dori markets for more than a few minutes that something had definitely caught her eye. A few very familiar weapons, with an incredibly familiar sigil carved on them, the smith’s trademark.

“Ahh, I see that sword has caught your eye” she smiled weakly as the merchant addressed her. “That is one of Master Daisho’s latest works. I’m sure his name is not familiar to a foreigner like yourself, but he is a renowned smith. The quality is exquisite and his attention to detail is something to behold”

His words only somewhat registered in her mind as she asked if she could handle the weapon. He did, seeing an opportunity for a paying customer. As she looked the blade over, something on it though had caught her attention.

“Out of curiosity, sir, but how did you acquire this blade?”

“Why, from the Master himself!”

Carmen’s smile was almost apologetic as she looked at the merchant, handing the weapon back to the merchant. She could have verbally cut him down, then and there. One look at the blade and she could tell it was a forgery. It had her family’s trademark, but that was about it. Not to mention that she never knew her father to sell any of his creations at the market like a common good. He did commissions, every piece made specifically for the client.

Whoever had created this was making a mockery of her family’s work and Carmen couldn’t help but tip her blade as she walked away, making sure the merchant could clearly see the trademark Daisho seal on her weapon. The real one. The gasp she heard behind her signalled that the message she was trying to send was received.

“What was that about?” Lyse asked, curious as she looked between Carmen and the merchant.

“Oh, just wanted to look at something”

“If you really liked it, you should have bought it! I’m sure you could use a new weapon, you’ve been using that forever”

Carmen chuckled. “It’s fine, mine is better. Also, for that price? I’m not made of gil Lyse!”


	10. Drowning

He could scream.

But she would not hear.

He could scream and scream until his voice was raw.

But she still would not hear.

Not because she wasn’t listening. Oh gods no, that wasn’t it. He could see it in her eyes every time he saw them. She was straining, reaching, trying to find a thread, a grasp of anything that the person she knew was behind those eyes still.

He was. But it was someone else in control. So no matter how loudly he screamed, no matter how much he wished, and hoped, and prayed, he had no way to reach her. He had never felt so helpless, so desperate in his life to be able to reach out to her, to soothe those worries behind her eyes, to even hold her tight and assure her that things will be fine.

They aren’t. Especially not right now. But having her so close and yet so far out of reach all at once in a way he never thought he would have to endure was agonizing.

For a mercy, Lahabrea had no intention of toying with her, keeping her at arm’s length. He regarded her with caution, a growing threat to his plans, but he held the trump card.

And that was all he needed.

But there was still so much left to say.

Was this how it ended?

A heart, full of love, so bursting at the seams, left to fizzle and die before it can even truly ignite.

But maybe it’s for the best.

As he watches the hope fade from her eyes, the quiet acceptance of resignation, he realizes that this is for the best.

One less wound for her to heal.

If the gods are merciful, then let her grow to resent him. Let her become angry. Let her heart push out all the fond memories they had, and burn all the ones they could have had.

Let her hate him enough that their first kiss be the cold steel of her blade across his throat.


	11. Sincerity

She had gotten unusually quiet. Who knows how long it’s been since they last saw each other? For a time, Mayu and Thancred were even sure they would never be reunited again. Yet here they were. And this was hardly the reunion Thancread had pictured.

Anger he had expected, frustration. He was sure that she would burst out at him, lashing out first, and quickly replacing it with excitement. It was how she often reacted when they were children. But this was strange. She was quiet, looking almost lost, caught in a dream.

She had wandered from the rest of the group, not straying too far, but far enough to give herself some privacy. There was no opportunity better than now, and he found Mayu perched on a rock, knees hugged to her chest, silent, gazing out pensively at the landscape before her.

“Mayu?” his voice was barely above a whisper and there was a pause as the name took a moment to register. He smiled as her head turned to look at him, her eyes dewy.

Ah, this he knew. He remembered it the first time, when her brother was mad at her. He had just finished yelling at her, and she reacted the same as now. Quiet, lost, she found a quiet corner by herself, knees tucked so close to her chest, small and trembling. Rei had been justified in his anger, this Thancred knew, she had wandered by herself into a dangerous situation, saved only by Thancred’s amazing timing. But she was shaken, caught unawares, processing the extent of her brother’s anger.

He didn’t really have to ask, he already knew the answer to this question, so he sat down next to her. Her forehead rest on his shoulder, and in the corner of his eye he could see the quivering of her shoulders. He nudged her gently, adjusting her so he could circle an arm around her shoulders, her sobbing becoming more pronounced as he pulled her into his chest.

Her cries were muffled as his other arm circled her, pulling her into a tight embrace, as if this was all that was holding this small, trembling body in his arms together. How easy it was to forget that the hero of Eorzea was still a person, someone who had their own anxieties and worries, who sometimes felt the crushing weight of everyone’s expectations.

He had thought, that once they were reunited like this, he would finally tell her what he felt. But perhaps now was not the time. Though that did not stop him from comforting her, rubbing circles on her back, chaste kisses to her temple to soothe her worries, whispered reassurances that her will remain, for as long as she needed.

And this time he meant it.


	12. Chocolate

What

Was

This

The poor post moogle, tiny fuzzy arms already full with small boxes and treat bags hovered in front of a sizable pile.

And it was all for him.

G’Khai did not believe the moogle at first. Why would he have so many? How would he have so many? It’s true, he made the acquaintance of many people during his travels, but there was no logical reason (at least to him) that he should have this many Valentione’s presents waiting for him.

The pieces started to fall into place once he had relieved the hard working moogle of their parcels and Khai actually started to sift through the small cards that came with the packages. Most of them had messy, scrawled writing and some had decently clear writing, but it quickly became obvious where these had all come from, his family.

This was the first year, ever, that they had sent him anything. While Khai usually got the occasional letter from his brother, it was rare for him to get anything from one of their other tribe members, let alone the children. Seeing all the messy, childish writing on the cards brought a smile to his face, proud to see that the tribe was not only growing, but must have been thriving enough to put together an effort like this.

As touching as the whole gesture was, and Khai definitely appreciated and loved it, looking at the daunting pile of bonbons he wasn’t sure if he could possibly eat all of these himself.


	13. Love

When did this start? When had things between them changed so much that a simple pat on the back or a squeeze on the shoulder had become a lingering touch? A gentle reminder that yes, I’m still here. Not just for Thancred to Mayu but also Mayu to Thancred. They had always been quite good at exchanging looks, filling the silence between them with unspoken sentences, remarks, something often about the situation in front of them that they couldn’t say aloud. That was the sort of connection they always had, old friends who had shared so many words between them that they no longer needed to voice them.

But now the silences stretched with a different conversation in between, gazes that lingered for a few heartbeats longer. The words they’ve been wanting to say seem to flow between, unsaid, and yet known. It carried in their touches, how her fingers would trace lines across the back of his hand and his would caress her forearm as their paths crossed. They seemed to float, carried in each laugh, chuckle and giggle.

It was in those unsaid in between moments that the words seemed to carry. And once, as duties called and Mayu was to be spirited away from him for a stretch of time did he whisper them. As they said their quick farewells, he leaned in close, a secret to be shared only between the two.

“I love you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make it longer but I also like keeping it short and sweet. Anyways, here's that big ol' love confession


	14. Amethyst

He loved that shade on her eyelids, a dusky amethyst that brought out the blue in her eyes. It paired so well with her rose kissed lips against her porcelain skin. And that smile. Oh, that smile,. It truly brought the life to her face, brightened her eyes, and that slight hint of pink dusting her cheeks. But never for him.

That smile was never for him.

But her tears were.

He had lost count of the number of times he’s seen the colour from her eyelids rub onto the back of her hands, trickle into the tears that would slide down her cheeks. He’s seen that colour pool onto the tips of his fingers as he brushed a tear away, how it would stain his shirt. He’s tasted those rose kissed lips, the salt from the cracks of her heart on the tip of his tongue.

He had always been there to heal every crack, to soothe her until her heart was whole again.

Though he dared not voice how she seemed to always chase after the next person who would break it again.

This was no different.

Surely, the result would be the same, eventually, regardless of what storied history there was.

Let the faded stains of her amethyst eyeshadow on his collar be a reminder of who came before, and who will come after.


	15. Boundaries

He had left home to be free. He didn’t want to be trapped in a role he didn’t want, or saddled with responsibilities. Not like that.

And yet he found himself in a box that he had made for himself. Always five steps behind, held back by an invisible barrier, and no one else to blame for his predicament except himself. What was he so afraid of?

Was the awe and wonderment he was always filled with when beholding her? Was it the fear of rejection? Or was it the fear that he would only be another name on the list, someone to cross off. Another teardrop stain on someone else’s collar?

That hesitation, that fear, it widened the gap, always leaving room for someone else to step in, to fill in those cracks he always tried to fix.

He always managed to put the pieces back together, but they were still broken, no bond to put them back together.

But were they not comrades? He had seen her heart laid bare before him, knew her uneasiness, knew her pain. They fought through the same trials, they have endured the same hardships. What was missing that turned her heart away from him?

_You love her_

_She knows_

_But did you tell her?_

With every piece of her heart that broke off, he took a piece of his own to fix it. With every piece he loses, he hopes it’s enough to close the gap, but each piece is only another brick for the wall, another step behind.


	16. Hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not February, but I wrote things and I'm posting them anyways lol

“Khai~!”

Her voice pulled him from the stupor of sleep, arm numb as he had forgotten about the head that lay on it. He stared for a few moments at the figure sleeping beside him, memory jogging as he tried to recall her name. Cute girl, miqo’te … dancer? Yes, that sounded right. What tribe again? Gosh, those details were evading his mind and he didn’t have the time to put all the pieces back together before his tent flap was abruptly opened by Carmen.

Mere moments from shouting her next words, she quickly reevaluated that, whispering instead. “We’re going to be heading out in a couple bells, so come on, food’s ready”

He nodded his reply, turning his attention to his bed companion and trying to rouse her awake with his free arm. The way her eyes fluttered open reminded him of how she had ended up here in the first place. He had to admit himself taken in by her charm, at least for one night.

Really though, it didn’t compare.

The rough pads of his fingers ran down her arm and she cuddled into his chest. She was met only with a small smile as he finally separated himself from her. She seemed to get the message, seemingly having been in this position more than once before and they only muttered their goodbyes to each other as they dressed and went their separate ways.

“Do you ever plan to settle?” Carmen asked as she watched girl’s retreating form. G’Khai seemed more preoccupied with the food in front of them, and the lack of attention he seemed to give her was telling enough for Carmen.

His only reply was a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders, and she didn’t seem to notice his lingering gaze as she turned away from him. “It’s not really for me …” he finally said after a few moments, gaze turning away as her attention came back to him.

“Really? I can see you finding a cute wife, settling down, having a few cute kids”

G’Khai huffed, half snorting as he laughed. Every time she looked at something else his gaze fell back on to her. 

“Mmm, don’t know, haven’t really met the right person”

_ Tell her. _

Over her shoulder, in the distance he could see another’s lingering gaze, their subtle smile as they beheld her. His ear twitched and he had to look away. It was becoming less of fear, and more guilt.

He can’t.


	17. Warmth

It was honestly a very impressive scowl. Surely any deeper and her eyebrows were going to touch.

“Cold, my dear?” Thancred teased, nudging Carmen lightly.

Ah yes, there it was. She scowled even deeper, glaring at him as she pulled her coat tighter. There was his answer. G’khai chuckled from the other side of her, feeling quite comfortable. Carmen hated the cold, or rather specifically she seemed to hate Coerthan cold. G’khai seemed to revel in it, enjoying the crispness of the air against his skin. Surprising as he grew up in warmer climates, but the change was refreshing for him.

Carmen had at least found an effective way to help stave off the cold. She sandwiched herself between Thancred and G’khai, both men running warm enough to keep her from freezing to death. There was no escape, because while she was holding her coat closed, she had looped arms with both, effectively holding her coat closed and keeping them hostage.

Her hold only loosened in those moments when Aymeric turned his attention to her, amused by seeing her creative ways of combating the cold. Even then, she only seemed to beam proudly at him, clearly pleased with herself for finding a wonderful solution for her predicament. It sometimes made conversing difficult as G’khai was often the one being talked to, but Carmen refused to let go of him, and Thancred, and it made for a three person train, often with G’khai taking the lead.

It was only once they were inside and a suitable fireplace was found that he could effectively unlatch himself from Carmen. Even then, for all the times that Thancred had to leave her side, she would seek G’khai out again and he was back to square one (minus one body).

“How much longer are you going to keep doing this?” G’khai finally asked, irritation noticeable in the twitch of his ears.

“Until we leave Coerthas”

“I know that” he hisses, “I’m talking when, while we are in Coerthas, are you going to stop doing this?”

Without even missing a beat Carmen replied, completely deadpan, “When it warms up”

G’khai sighed. “So never”

“Well, I don’t know, you think another calamity will fix the weather here?”

He noticeably paled, scowling at her, but she seemed to wonder this with genuine curiosity. He had no answer, for one dreading the possibility of another calamity, and another, any possible repercussions of one. Seeing his loss of words, Carmen tried to reassure him with a smile.

“Maybe one day I’ll get used to it” And she let go.

But, to be honest, he missed that small bit of warmth from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it's ever mentioned, but I think the Calamity only affected Eorzea mostly, right? So I imagine Carmen/Mayu, having grown up in Hingan, wouldn't have truly known the damage the Calamity had caused. Hence why she has somewhat of a more casual attitude. Not that she doesn't acknowledge it was horrible event, but she's only seen the after math and wouldn't know the actual horror of living it like G'khai would have.


	18. Bruises

He swore this girl must of had some sort of sixth sense for him. Thancred prided himself on how well he was able to conceal himself, and yet this girl seemed to completely hone in on him and could find him, no matter where he hid or how high he climbed to. Mayu at least seemed to have a sense for what would be considered a prudent time to bother him and what wasn’t, but it was deeply unsettling how she seemed to surprise him more often than not.

Right now though, that sixth sense of hers was more blessing than annoyance. Having gotten into a bit of a scuffle, Thancred was nursing some wonderful injuries of his own when she found him. While he was certain that it was her inability to put together a cohesive enough sentence to get any information out of him, he was grateful for the lack of questions. His pride, and his body, felt damaged enough that he didn’t want to reveal more than what she saw.

Wordlessly, she took him by the hand, leading him through strangely familiar paths through the city to the inn. Clearly, there was a bit more to Mayu that meets the eye, as he was certain he had never revealed these pathways to her and yet she seemed to know the best way to sneak through the city unseen. Perhaps this was how she had managed to up him sometimes, because he never expected her to know these. As they approached the inn though, it became clear how she had known these as her brother Rei had come to meet them.

Thancred grimaced, expecting an interrogation, maybe a lecture even, but he received neither except perhaps a judging stare from the older boy as he spirited the two into their inn room. All the exchanges were wordless, as if this wasn’t new, they’ve done this before as the two siblings gathered all the various bandages and salves. There was something very practiced and steady with Mayu’s hads as she set about cleaning all the cuts, scrapes, and bruises that littered his skin.

She smiled at him apologetically whenever he winced, knowing the sting of the ointments, but he also never voiced any complaints. He was grateful knowing that she had taken the time to do this for him, and knowing that she didn’t have to. He was grateful that, despite how curious she always was, she stayed her questions. Once again, he found himself wondering. It reminded him of their initial meeting, how she seemed to just  _ know _ , and yet never bothered to actually say anything. Perhaps because she didn’t actually know and was just very adept at bluffing, or perhaps she did and knew the power of silence when it was needed.

Even once all his wounds were looked after and bandaged, the only words they really exchanged were their farewells, but he found himself lingering at her door.

He didn’t understand.

Why extend such kindness to him?

Why take the time to do this for him?

Even after years and years to mull those questions over, he still didn’t quite understand as she continued to see to every wound, whether it be by the magic she acquired over the years, or tried and true salves and bandages.

Now, perhaps he could say it is her love for him.

Perhaps, even back then it was the same.

But the same question still remains.

Why?


	19. Blizzard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR THE RECENT PATCHES HERE. I mean, the patch summaries would have already spoiled this for you, but in case if you were like me and avoided all content until you played through it, you probably wouldn't know this. So, just as a precaution I have my tiny warning ;;

He already knew it was futile, but he held that small glimmer of hope. The situation was not going to improve by her moping by any of the Scions’ side, and G’khai was certain that the last thing Thancred wanted was for Carmen to wallow at his bedside.

As amenable as she was about coming along as he ran some errands in Coerthas, he knew it wouldn’t improve her mood. She hated the weather, absolutely despised the cold and was fully prepared to shoulder every single complaint he was sure she was going to make.

But not a word.

Unlike her usual habit of bundling herself to a ridiculous amount she only dressed for the bare minimum, and even as cold winds blew, where she would normally pull her coat tight and whine nonstop, neither reaction came from her. There was something despairing about seeing the lifeless look in her eyes as she stared off into space, and for the first time since he’s met her, she was completely unaffected by the cold.

“Carmen?”

Her gaze was so distant, and it took a couple seconds for his voice to register in her mind. Her head turned, slowly, and he feared that if he stared any longer in her eyes he would lose himself, so his gaze averted. But that will not do. He knew that. She was staring at an abyss before her, he had to give her some glimmer of hope.

Steeling himself, he took a deep breath before he locked eyes with her, determination, hope, courage, he hoped all those feeling were instilled in his eyes as he smiled.

“We’ll get through this”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. For sure, he could say that what he wanted to see was some semblance of that spark of hers return to her eyes, maybe a crack of a smile. What he got was a peek at the abyss before her. It was as if she had seen completely through him. The future looked bleak, and he wanted to be hopeful, but their situation only seemed to get more dire as time went on.

He struggled, trying to find words, actions maybe, something to steer her away from this hopelessness. No, maybe not just to help her. He had hid it well, how it was consuming him too, and he tried to distract himself, keeping himself busy, doing anything but think about what lay ahead of them. He looked at her and he saw all the turmoil he himself was keeping inside. And when he tried to rile her spirits, her reaction only mimicked his own thoughts.

Still, it was often Carmen who was able to shake him from his thoughts, and now that she was the one who needed help, he was proving his own uselessness in that department. Out of ideas, he did the only thing he could think of, he reached out, pulling her in and embracing her tightly. She stiffened in his arms, but relaxing quite quickly. He felt her tremble and all he could do was rub her back to try and soothe her.

But just as she seemed to finally unwind, he felt her stiffen again, and her hands gripped his shirt, fisting the fabric and it was mere moments before he understood why.

There it was. That voice again. His head felt like it was splitting, barely able to make out the words ringing in his head. In the haze he heard Carmen’s voice call out to him and he could vaguely remember looking at her.

And then nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G'khai is my canon WoL so ... technically I think this should be reversed but I wanted angst for Carmen so -shrugs-


End file.
